ABOUT 1 YEAR AGO • 2 MIN READ

The 15 Variables Consistently at Play in Relationships

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Dare to Live

I specialize in working with high achievers, individuals, and couples who appear successful on the outside yet privately struggle with a subtle but powerful form of Failure to Launch. They know they are capable of more, deeper intimacy, fuller expression, greater impact, yet something invisible keeps interrupting momentum. This is not about laziness or lack of discipline. It is about unresolved emotional patterns, nervous system conditioning, relational imprints, and the quiet disconnection from one’s own inner authority. My work helps you move from stalled potential to embodied action. From self doubt to grounded confidence. From external success to internal alignment. Clients develop emotional intelligence that is lived, not just understood. They cultivate spiritual intelligence that is practical, not abstract. The result is clarity, courage, and a sustainable sense of abundance that touches career, relationships, leadership, and purpose. My perspective is shaped by more than 22 years of personal growth and over a decade as a licensed therapist. I integrate cognitive behavioral therapy, neurofeedback, EMDR, neuroscience, mind body integration, Imago relationship principles, conscious parenting, and work with addictive patterns and gender specific challenges into a focused and strategic process designed to create measurable forward movement. I also bring lived experience. I understand what it means to rebuild, recalibrate, and consciously launch into a more aligned life. The science is clear: transformation does not require becoming someone else. It requires removing what is in the way of who you already are. You are far more powerful, emotionally intelligent, and spiritually resourced than you realize. If you are ready to fully launch, I am here to guide the process.

The 15 Variables Consistently at Play in Relationships

A great deal of the work I do in my personal and professional life is focused on co-creating healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

A theme that is evolving into something of a framework used in the growth and development process is the identification and examining of the 15 different variables that are at work in relationships at all times.

Here they are:

  1. Who I am - based strictly on daily actions and behaviors
  2. Who I think I am - the perception/opinion I have of who I am
  3. Who I want to be - the person I want to be, or I'm hoping I will become
  4. Who the other person is - based strictly on their daily actions and behaviors
  5. Who the other person thinks they are - the perception/opinion they have of who they are
  6. Who the other person wants to be - the person they want to be, or hope they will become
  7. Who I know the person is - based on their daily actions and behaviors
  8. Who I think the person is - based on what they try to present or convince me of, or perhaps what I'm projecting onto them
  9. Who I want the person to be - based on changes I hope they'll make, or potential I see in them
  10. Who the other person knows me to be - based strictly on my daily actions and behaviors
  11. Who the other person thinks I am - the perception they have of me based on what I try to present or convince them I am, or perhaps what they are projecting on to me
  12. Who the other person wants me to be - based on changes they hope I'll make, or potential they see in me
  13. What the relationship is - based strictly on how it functions daily
  14. What each of us think the relationship is - based on our perception of how we view the relationship
  15. What we want the relationship to be - based on the vision we have for the future of our relationship

This might begin to explain why moving relationships out of survival and into thriving may seem like a daunting, if not an altogether impossible, challenge.

This also explains why people may often prefer to remain a loner, single, or consistently checked out. By not being in relationship they can avoid having to confront themselves. It is only inside of relationships, particularly romantic ones and/or those with significant depth, that we get the opportunity to see something that we otherwise may have never looked at or never wanted to look at (as is often the case).

In my next issue of Dare to Live and Thrive I'll discuss what we can begin doing to bring these different variables into what I refer to as within the range of alignment and begin manifesting the life and love we deeply desire!

I trust you found some value in this month's Newsletter! 🙌🏾

If you have any feedback, please reply as I would love to hear it! To those of you that provided me with some feedback last time -- thank you! 🙏🏽

For all of your personal development and relationship growth desires – we are here!

Dare to live with me today!

Much love, 🙏🏽

Ryan Landau

Licensed Therapist

Personal Development and Relationship Growth Coach

RyanLandau.Live

Dare to Live

I specialize in working with high achievers, individuals, and couples who appear successful on the outside yet privately struggle with a subtle but powerful form of Failure to Launch. They know they are capable of more, deeper intimacy, fuller expression, greater impact, yet something invisible keeps interrupting momentum. This is not about laziness or lack of discipline. It is about unresolved emotional patterns, nervous system conditioning, relational imprints, and the quiet disconnection from one’s own inner authority. My work helps you move from stalled potential to embodied action. From self doubt to grounded confidence. From external success to internal alignment. Clients develop emotional intelligence that is lived, not just understood. They cultivate spiritual intelligence that is practical, not abstract. The result is clarity, courage, and a sustainable sense of abundance that touches career, relationships, leadership, and purpose. My perspective is shaped by more than 22 years of personal growth and over a decade as a licensed therapist. I integrate cognitive behavioral therapy, neurofeedback, EMDR, neuroscience, mind body integration, Imago relationship principles, conscious parenting, and work with addictive patterns and gender specific challenges into a focused and strategic process designed to create measurable forward movement. I also bring lived experience. I understand what it means to rebuild, recalibrate, and consciously launch into a more aligned life. The science is clear: transformation does not require becoming someone else. It requires removing what is in the way of who you already are. You are far more powerful, emotionally intelligent, and spiritually resourced than you realize. If you are ready to fully launch, I am here to guide the process.